


Cling to Life

by lilolilyrae



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Andromache of Scythia needs a hug, Andy | Andromache of Scythia Regains Immortality, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Andromache, Dom Quynh, Dom/sub Undertones, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Immortal Wives Andy | Andromache of Scythia/Quynh | Noriko, Minor Character(s), Oral Sex, Quynh | Noriko Needs a Hug, References to Depression, Searching for Quynh | Noriko, Speed Therapy, Sub Andromache, Suicidal Thoughts, Thankfully they can hug each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:15:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26440240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilolilyrae/pseuds/lilolilyrae
Summary: Quynh thinks she knows why Andy has stopped healing.
Relationships: Andy | Andromache of Scythia/Quynh | Noriko
Comments: 12
Kudos: 118





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just wrote the first chapter in one go first thing in the morning xD since when do I manage stuff like that? The antidepressants must be working for once.

Yusuf and Nicolo broke through the surface, holding Quynh between them. 

Quynh gasped for air, almost starting to hyperventilate when she was finally able to breathe again. 

The men helped her onto the ship, Nicolo throwing a towel in her direction, Yusuf helping her get dry. "Quynh, nostra sorella, nostra amata compagna," Nicolo murmured into her hair and Quynh almost had to laugh at how much he sounded like Yusuf when then other man would wax poetic about Nicolo. 

Then, she shivered. "Andromache?" she coughed out- the first name, the first word at all on her lips since she had been thrown into the ocean.

Yusuf winced, Nicolo made a face.

Cold, constricting fear spread throughout Quynh. No. No, it couldn't be-

"She is alive" reassured Yusuf in Vietnamese. "she is just..."

Quynh wasn't sure whether to breathe in all-encompassing relief or scream at them to just tell her what was going on. Did Andromache hate her? Had she abandoned her?

"She is mortal." Nicolo added. "So- we can only let you to her when you promise not to kill her."

Quynh started at them both, incomprehending. 

"...mortal. What? How?" mortal. Did she get to see her other half, her life, again, only to have her taken away again? How was that fair?

"She bleeds, she heals like any human would... We're not sure whether or not she's ageing yet. And- she probably would not come back if someone were to kill her."

Quynh shivered. She _had_ entertained the notion of killing Andromache as often as she herself had died under the sea, or at the very least let her drown a few times as retribution. What would she have done if Andromache simply hadn't woken after the first death? Or, even if she hadn't already been mortal at the beginning, what if any death by Quynh's hand would have been the last?

Shivering uncontrollably now, Quynh felt bile rise and leaned to the side to throw up whatever was in her stomach. Which wasn't much. Her next death was probably going to be starvation. Or the cold. 

Yusuf and Nicolo must have had the same thought, and Nicolo runs to get something to drink and eat while Yusuf hugged her close and rubbed her arms to get some heat back into her body.

As Nicolo disappeared behind a door, Quynh was able to hear quiet voices- Andromache?? No, a stranger's voice, a different woman. A new addition to their team?

"Here" Nicolo held up a water bottle to her lips, and once she has drunk her fill, Yusuf started hand-feeding her small bits of food Quynh couldn't identify. She didn't much care, as long as she didn't have to die again just yet. 

She was so tired. It was hard to keep her eyes open at all. On the other hand, she didn't think she could sleep without seeing Andromache with her own eyes again, especially not after the news she just had.

"Take me to her" she whispered. "Please. I will not harm her. I would never..."

Nicolo and Yusuf shared a look, then they helped her up and lead her inside.

* * *

"Quynh-" Andromache's voice nearly gives out when she sees the other woman enter, as do her knees and she has to grip the table behind her to stay upright. "Quynh, Quynh-" tears are falling over her face. She can't remember having cried at all in the past almost fivehundred years. 

Quynh stumbles forward. Touches Andromache's face with an arm-length between them. She has a scrape on her forehead that isn't healing- that hasn't healed immediately when she got it- and that alone is doing more to drive the message home that Andromache is _mortal_ now than anything the men might have said. " _Andromache_ " she chokes out. " _No, Andromache, why must you do this to me?"_

Andromache winces. "They told you." it is not a question.

Quynh chuckles without any humor. "Thought I would have to be warned off, told not to kill you. They weren't wrong."

Andromache's hand flutters upward, sinking down again without coming into contact with her, as if she isn't sure she is allowed to touch. Doesn't she remember that Quynh is hers as Andromache belongs to Quynh? Does she not think that way anymore?

"I would deserve to die for as long as you did, as often as you did" Andromache whispers. "But please, please leave me alive, let me live with you, even if I only have fourty years left-"

" _Fourty_ -" Quynh chokes out. Tears are trying to form in her eyes, but there still isn't enough fluid in her system to allow her to cry. "No, no-" 

Holding Andromache's face between her hands, she leans up to press a kiss to her forehead. "I will not kill you, I will never harm you, I would never-"

Andromache nods brokenly, sobs, and collapses into her arms. Quynh hold her close, strokes her back, breathes in her scent. "Andromache, Andromache, _Andromache!_ "

Leaning back while still holding onto her, Quynh stares at the scrape on Andromache's forehead. Even mortal, there is no reason for her love to be harmed that way. Especially mortal, she should take better care of herself. Injuries to the head could be fatal so easily! 

"What happened here?" she asked.

Andromache winces. "It's just a scrape... I had to quickly duck behind a stone wall and got caught on-"

"Wait." Quynh's voice is dangerously void of emotion. "Are you telling me. Are you telling me, that you, _mortal_ , were going on missions? Missions where you were hurting your head?! You said you had fourty years to live with you. Are you trying to deprive me of even these years with you?!?"

Andromache stares at her, open-mouthed. "Quynh- no, I just, I can't not-" 

Quynh doesn't even acknowledge that, instead turning Andromache around, walking her to the nearest wall and pressing both of her wrists to it, rendering her immobile. Restricting Andromache until she would beg, usually in bed, had always been a good way to get exactly what she wanted from her.

And she _needed_ to get her way now.

"You- you going on missions-" Quynh hisses. "That is over, understood? Over! Think of it as penance if you must, your punishment for leaving me to drown, instead of drowning yourself. You are going to stay here, you are going to stay alive. Do you _understand?_ "

The last word is spoken as a command despite the question in it, and Andromache whimpers, her head falling back against the wall. "Yes, yes, Quynh, I understand, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" she sobs out. Quynh immediately lets go of her wrists, kissing her lips and pulling her into her arms instead, cradling her body against herself. A sob comes out of her own mouth, but she feels so dry, she has to cough. 

Andromache immediately pulls back. "Did they not give you anything to drink? These-" she turns to get water before turning back, grasping Quynh's hand and pulling her with her instead. She won't let her out of her sight now, not ever again. _Not ever again_. She can say that now, can't she? Much more reasonable to say _never_ and _forever_ when you can count the years you are going to live than when you are immortal.

They are alone in the room, the men and the other woman must have left some time ago. Her situational awareness really used to be better.

Quynh presses chaste kisses against Andromache's skin, her neck, her ear. When Andromache opens a cabinet to get a bottle of water, she sees red spots on her wrist where she had pressed it against the wall and shudders, taking the bottle of water from her only to put it down again, holding her wrists in front of her face again and showering the red marks in kisses. She had sworn never to harm Andromache as long as she lived now, and she had already broken that promise. She would have to remember how fragile her love was, now.

"I'm fine." Andromache presses out. Quynh doesn't know whether she had said the last sentence out loud or whether Andromache is just irked by her uncharacteristic tenderness.

"You are not" she chokes out, dropping her wrists. "You are dying." 

Taking a step back, she opens the bottle of water and takes a sip of it to have something to do. Only when she starts drinking does she realise how thirsty she still is, and she downs the bottle in one go. Her hands shiver as she puts the bottle down.

"You should sleep" Andromache murmurs.

"No." Quynh vehemently disagrees. "No. Let me touch you first."

Andromache leads her to a room with a small bed, and Quynh pushes her onto it in what feels like slow motion compared to the way they used to fall into bed together.

Andromache is _so fragile_ , now.

"My love" Quynh murmurs, kissing down her face and neck and under her neckline. "My love..."

She starts pushing up her shirt- Andromache winces, and Quynh doesn't have to ask what the reason is: a big white bandage is on her stomach, red blood shimmering through.

"Andromache!" Quynh exclaims in shock. "What- you-"

"I won't- I won't die from this." Andromache murmurs, almost embarrassed. "It was just a graze." she frowns. "I should probably change the bandage so it won't get infected..."

"Probably." Quynh feels as if she has been permanently punched in the chest. "Andromache, you are never, ever, ever, getting close to a sword again."

"Was a gun. Uh. Modern weapon" Andromache grumbles, as if that makes anything better.

Quynh chokes on air.

"You are never, never, ever, going to fight again. I will lock you in a cellar if I have to, I will-"

"Quynh." Andromache murmurs, hand stroking her cheek. "I already promised."

With a sob, Quynh falls forward into her arms, careful not to jostle the wound. Andromache strokes her still-wet hair, her back, her cheek, her neck, and then they are kissing, really kissing, and Quynh thinks she hadn't stopped drowning until this very moment.

After a while, they pull back to breathe, and Quynh winces when she notices she almost hurt Andromache again, not letting her breathe. On the other hand, Andromache looks more alive than ever now, flushed cheeks and tousled short hair. 

"Why did you cut it?" Quynh mumbles, touching the side of her head where the hair is barely as long as her fingers are wide. 

"Don't you like it?" Andromache asks instead of answering her question. 

"I could get used to it" Quynh asks- before shuddering when she remembers that she doesn't have all that much time to get used to anything about Andromache again. "You didn't answer my question." 

"It's more practical for missions." Andromache grumbles. "Yeah, yeah, not going on these anymore." 

Quynh raises an eyebrow. "It never bothered you, before." 

Andromache shivers and won't meet her eyes. "I couldn't- I could never braid it the way you did. I was- it was just another reminder that I had failed you-"

Quynh holds her in her arms as Andromache cries. She remembers, distantly, that they hadn't even cried like that when Leykon had died. She can't bring herself to care.

When Andromache has calmed down again, Quynh pulls back. "You said you had to take care of your wound?" 

Andromache nods shakily and gets a small red suitcase with white bandages, scissors and medical equipment Quynh doesn't recognise. She sits down on the bed again, her thighs pressed against Quynhs.

When she starts to take off the old bandage, Quynh stops her hands. "Let me?"

The angry red wound on Andromache's skin is leaving Quynh staring. 

It has barely even started to heal, still red as blood not brown with scabs. 

"Andromache, why would you do this to yourself?" she breathes, sinking down onto her knees in front of her, hands fluttering uselessly over her skin. "Why? Andromache? Did you _want_ to die? Is that it? Did you try to get yourself killed?"

"No" Andromache says, but there is so little fight in her that Quynh catches the lie immediately.

"Andromache?" she stares at her. "You want to die?"

"No!" Andromache bites out. "I might have- thought that way, when you were gone and I thought you were better off dying yourself, permanently, and everything was just- I was-"

"You want to die." Quynh says tonelessly.

"No! Andromache shouts. "I might have wanted to but-"

Quynh can barely hear her over the ringing in her ears. "You want to die." she repeats in a choked whisper, her palm pressing against the skin of Andromache's stomach onto the angry wound as if she could close it, disappear it that way.

 _"I don't want to die!"_ Andromache shouts at her. "I want to _live_ , I want to live with you, I want to be immortal again, I want to have _time_ with you, _I don't want to die!_ "

Staring at Andromache's face, Quynh would not have noticed it had it not been for her hand still on the wound. As it is, she can feel the skin moving- closing- under her fingers. 

With a gasp, she pulls away. 

"What?" Andromache asks her as Quynh stares at her stomach, sizing up the wound. It is still there, but a good finger-width smaller than before...

"Andromache." she says, her voice purged of all emotion. "Did you just want to live when you told me just now, or do you want to live all the time, now?" 

Andromache looks at her as if she has gone insane. "Of course I want to live all the time now."

"Not enough. You don't want to live enough" Quynh hisses. Can she tell her that the wound had started to close just now? She barely believes that she has seen it herself.

"Think about life, Andromache! Think about all the things you would miss out on! Not just me, but travelling, seeing the world grow around us, helping others- what about Nicolo and Yusuf, Andromache? Do you want to leave them behind? And the new one, there is a new one isn't there?" 

"Nile" Andromache chokes out. "Nile and Booker, yeah, you haven't met them yet. Of course I want to live, are you trying to torture me here? I'm trying not to think about what I'm going to miss out on, I'm trying not to-"

"Well maybe you should!" Quynh shouts.

Andromache breaks down.

 _She really thinks I am trying to torture her,_ Quynh realises. _She has no idea I'm trying to save her life._

"Do you want to live?" she whispers.

"Yes." Andromache sobs.

"Do you want to live?"

" _Yes!_ "

The scratch on her forehead disappears. Quynh isn't sure at first because the dried blood is still there in the same line, but when she presses a kiss to the place, the line smudges.

"Why do you want to live?"

"For you" Andromache chokes out, and Quynh knows that can't be enough. 

"Why do you want to live?"

"For the team, to save people, to go on bloody missions again if you would let me!"

"Why do you want to live?" Quynh repeats like a personal mantra.

"To- to travel, to see a sunset like the one that day in Egypt, do you remember? I've never seen one as beautiful again."

"Why do you want to live?"

"To kiss you."

Quynh rewards her with a gentle kiss on her lips before she asks her question again.

"Why do you want to live?"

"Because I always live!"

Before her eyes, the wound in Andromache's stomach closes entirely.

Quynh lets her head sink onto Andromache's knees as if all her strings are cut.

She doesn't think that Andromache is really immortal again just yet, it can't have been that easy. But maybe- maybe- maybe they can work this out.

"Quynh?" Andromache whispers into her hair. "Beloved, are you alright?" Quynh looks up with a wide smile, pressing a peck to her lips before turning her head and pressing an open- mouthed kiss to the place the wound had been.

"I don't think that's all that- wait. What?"

Whatever Andromache had wanted to say is lost when she notices that the injury is gone.

"How?" she murmurs, stunned.

"Because you wanted to live" Quynh whispers. "It started closing when you first said you wanted to live." 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beware the change in rating! Smut ahead ;)

For a long moment, Quynh and Andy just hold each other, sharing soft, closed-mouthed kisses or just breathing. 

Quynh is glad she hasn't had to stop Andromache from hurting herself yet, she's sure the other will attempt some experiments soon and she's not all that sure she would be successful. People don't start believing in life again from one moment to the other, and if their wish to live or die is all that is keeping them immortal or making them mortal again... Andromache definitely has something to work through before Quynh will let her injure herself again.

It makes sense, really, now that she is thinking about it. The only other that turned mortal was Lykon, and while he wasn't particularly sad, he had said many times that he had seen enough of the world already, that he wouldn't actually mind it coming to an end.

Quynh tells Andromache about her musings, and Andromache frowns. "I'm not sure about that" she mumbles. "I mean, Lykon, yeah- but Booker, Sébastien, one of the new ones- he was distraught by his immortality since his first death, he even- he's in exile, right now, because he tried to sell us out to a scientist to find out how we could be killed."

Quynh frowns. "You can't know what was going on in his head" she thinks. "Maybe he wanted to die, but also to live?"

Andromache shrugs. "Maybe." 

Then she frowns. "Did you never- while you were drowning, why didn't you just die for real?"

Quynh shivers. "I wanted it to be over." she admits. "But I wanted to see you again more."

Andromache burrows her head in her chest, ashamed that she was the one who had given up while Quynh was the one who had been suffering. 

"...and you?" Quynh asks carefully. "Why... How come you wanted to die?" 

Andromache doesn't look up. "I was just so- lost." she starts. "I was alone, you were gone, maybe, hopefully, I thought, dead- and it is my fault that you were gone in the first place! I couldn't find you, and the world was changing, not for the better, and if felt like whatever I did, it didn't help- I was just so- I was depressed, I suppose. Sad, so sad that it's an actual illness, people have researched about that now. And I didn't even realize that I felt sad, I just felt- _numb_ , and I wanted it to be over because it felt like it already was."

Quynh presses her lips to Andromache's hair, breathes in her scent to calm herself. Her love had suffered so much... 

"Is there nothing to treat that sadness, then, when people think it is an illness?" she asks thoughtfully. 

Andromache frowns. "There is. Therapy- talking about it, I guess- and medicine."

"Why didn't you use it then? Before it got so bad?" she doesn't say it to be accusing, but Andromache still gets defensive, sitting up and folding her arms over her chest. 

"I didn't know about it when I was still immortal. I mean maybe I did, I just didn't care, why would mortal medicine be important to us? It's not like we need it. Only when I needed physical medicine and looked up medicine in general, I noticed, that- maybe, we aren't immune to illnesses of the mind." 

Quynh pulls her into her arms again at that.

"You will heal" she whispers. "You will heal, and you will live, I will make sure of that." 

Andromache laughs a wet laugh.

Pushing her to lay onto the bed, Quynh starts undressing her entirely, kissing her way up her chest and over her still-clothed breasts before she figures out how to get her out of the garment, then taking one nipple between her teeth and pulling, gentler than she would have done, _before_.

Andromache still gasps, and Quynh smiles, pressing a kiss where she just bit the skin while twisting the other nipple between the fingers of her hand. 

Andromache's hand tangles in her matted hair, and Quynh kisses her way down her body, paying special attention to the place she had been injured, then suckling on her belly bottom before pushing down her trousers. 

Andromache sits up to help shimmy out of then, and then her hands are on Quynh, roaming over the naked flesh. Quynh only now really realises that she is entirely naked, the towel Nicolo had given her earlier fallen to the floor a long while ago. It is just as well.

Pushing Andromache down again, she lays down on top of her, holding herself up with one arm so as not to squish her while cradling her head with the other. 

For a while, they just kiss open-mouthed, revelling in the feeling of bare skin on skin. Then, Quynh slips her tongue past Andromache's lips while pressing one of her legs in-between Andromache's, moving it against her. Andromache whimpers, her hands clenching and un-clenching on Quynh's shoulder and the small of her back.

Breaking the kiss, Quynh smiles at her and sits up, wiping spit from Andromache's bottom lip with her thumb.

"So beautiful" she murmurs. And Andromache is beautiful, radiant, the best sight Quynh has ever seen, she doesn't know how to put it in words. Maybe she should be self-conscious about the state of her own body and the chaos that is her hair, but the way Andromache stares at her downright hungrily lets no space for doubt. 

With a grin, Quynh scoots over, moves between Andromache's legs and doesn't break eye contact while she links a broad stripe through her folds.

Andromache gasps, hands clenching on the bedsheets.

"Why do you want to live?" Quynh asks her.

"You!" Andromache gasps out. "Quynh, please, please touch me already-"

Oh, she loves it when she begs. Bending down, Quynh tangles the fingers of one hand with Andromache's before she starts licking over Andromache's clit while parting her folds with the fingers of her free hand. She is so wet for her already... 

Two fingers slip into Andromache easily, and she arches off the bed with a silent scream when Quynh bends her fingers inside her, finding her sweet spot almost instantly even after so many years.

Is this the first time Andromache has layn with another since then, Quynh wonders. Or did she have other lovers? She wouldn't begrudge her that...

Andromache whimpers when Quynh stops moving, and Quynh decides that it doesn't matter. She sucks on her clit and moves Andromache's hand into her hair again before fucking her in earnest. 

Andromache sobs and whimpers and cries out her name, and it's the most wonderful noise Quynh has heard in her entire life.

"I'm- I'm-" Andromache gasps out, and Quynh feels her squeeze her fingers tighter, yes, she is close- Quynh speeds up her movements, and with a sharp cry, Andromache comes, pushing against Quynh's hand as she fucks her through it.

When Andromache stops twitching, Quynh slowly withdraws a finger and presses a last gentle kiss to her sex before she moves up, stroking Andromache's face and holding her close.

" _So good_ " she croons, kissing Andromache's cheek as the other shudders. "So beautiful, so good for me-" 

Andromache burrows her face in Quynh's chest, and, to her shock, simply starts sobbing agaun. 

"Andromache?" 

"I- Quynh, _fuck_ , I still can't believe you're here again" Andromache gasps, and Quynh holds her even closer.

After a while, she notices her eyes drooping and immediately blinks herself alert again.

"I don't think I should sleep with you here." she states matter-of-factly, and, before Andromache can demand why: "I will undoubtedly have nightmares, and I will not place you in danger." Quynh says sharply. She doesn't need to say that it would cause her great pain to be the reason for Andromache's injuries, let alone her demise.

"I'll sleep on the floor, then" Andromache decides. "I'm not leaving you alone."

"If you feel the need to wake me should I have a nightmare, you will get Yusuf or Nicolo to do it." Quynh orders. Andromache just nods, to exhausted to fight her and honestly understanding the reasons for the precaution. 

In the end, they both just sleep through the night. Too exhausted, maybe, to even dream.

In the morning, Quynh wakes first, smiling at the sight of Andromache in front of her, then frowning at the fact that she is on the cold hard floor. She should have told her to switch with her yesterday, if Andromache isn't quite immortal yet she will feel the effects of such a night much worse than she herself would.

Walking over, she catches a look out of the window- there is land closeby, the others must have captained the ship throughout the night.

"Wake up, my love" she whispers into Andromache's ear, pulling her into her arms and carrying her to the bed. 

For a moment, Andromache freezes before relaxing in her hold.

"Sleep well?" 

"If I had any night terrors, I do not remember them." Quynh reassures her. "I'm sorry I let you sleep on the floor, though."

Andromache just shrugs and moves her neck left and right with audible cracks. Quynh winces, but Andromache just kisses her.

"We should greet the others" Quynh says, breaking the kiss. "I barely said hello to Yusuf and Nicolo yesterday."

Andromache pouts, but she nods. "You can borrow some of my clothes."

Quynh snorts. "Since when do you care about such propriety?"

Andromache makes a face. "Nile- the youngest, barely thirty- she isn't quite that used to us yet."

Quynh laughs.

Andromache hands her a shirt with the print of a vietnamese dragon, and Quynh can't help but kiss her again for it.

They find the others in the kitchen, eating cereal and talking amongst each other in hushed voices.

They all quiet and beam at them when they walk in.

"Quynh!" Yusuf exclaims and runs up to hug her. "We haven't managed to greet you properly yet!" 

Nicolo is right behind him, and they all talk over each other, laughing and hugging.

Once they have calmed down a little, Quynh notices the third- Nile, Andromache had said her name was- lingering in the background.

"Hello" Quynh smiles at her. "You must be our newest member, then?"

Nile smiles shyly but doesn't answer, and Quynh realises that she probably can't understand her.

"What languages-" she turns to Andromache. "What languages does she speak?"

"English, mostly, and that's a lot different to what you are used to. Nicky and Joe have been teaching her Italian, French and a little Arabic, I hadn't gotten around to Vietnamese or Scythian yet."

'I hadn't thought it would be necessary' goes unsaid.

Quynh greets the other in Italian, and Nile greets her too, saying she is glad that they have found her. Her accent is terrible, but Quynh is sure that she will learn.

"Come, sit down, you haven't eaten yet" Nicolo says, and Yusuf tries to usher them to the table, but Andromache takes hold of her wrist to hold her back. Right. 

"There is something else" Quynh says slowly.

"Yes?" the others look at them a little confused.

With a deep breath, Andromache lifts her shirt, showing off newly healed skin.

"What-" "How??" "Does this mean you are immortal again? How did this happen?" "Quynh, did you kill her? You promised not to!" they all talk at the same time.

"I didn't kill her!" Quynh hisses at Yusuf. "I will never harm her again if I can in any way help it! The wound closed without her dying. It closed because she wanted to _live_."

"What does that mean?" Nile asks, eyes wide.

"It means" Andromache sighs, "I need too get some antidepressants if I want to be immortal again."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm always happy to read some friendly comments!


End file.
